If you’re like most beta schlubs guys, you’re searching for your eternal soulmate – a beautiful girl who’s always there for you, loves you unconditionally and hopefully knows how to properly fold a pair of stained whitey tighties. However, the quest for love is fraught with horrible peril, including:
1. Leaving the basement
2. Actually speaking to a woman
Luckily, modern science has come up with a solution to end problematic social interaction once and for all. I present: Real Dolls! That’s right, it’s the realistic, life-sized female doll that you can fuck and/or pretend is an actual person.
I’d be a fool not to buy after watching such a persuasive video, so I fired up the Real Doll website to get my purchase on. Much to my delight, I discovered that Real Dolls have customizable options out the yin-yang. There are tons of different body styles to choose from, but I noticed that none of the dolls were overweight or obese. Weird!
Personally, I prefer gigantic Dolly Parton-esque bazooka tits, so I went with body style #5. Now it’s time to choose the face!
There’s an option for a smiling face, but if you read the fine print, it says there’s “no oral opening.” I didn’t want to get ripped off, so I went with Face #12, which has some gigantic Pamela Anderson super injecto lips. I also chose the “fair” skin tone, brown eyes and some other stuff, because I was in a hurry and couldn’t be bothered with minor details that have nothing to do with boob size and mouth hole availability.
Wow, you can choose eyeliner thickness/color! I went with “thick ass motherfucking black” for eyeliner, because anything else is just dumb. I chose Style 0711 – Medium Blonde for the hair, because it kind of looks like the mom from That 70s Show and she’s super hot.
Duh! Of course I’m going with shemale option C. Also, “trimmed bush” seemed well worth the extra $100. My Real Doll is now complete. Check out time!
What a screamin’ deal! $7099 plus an extra $500 for shipping is a small price to pay in order to never haggle with a toothless Ukrainian prostitute again. Every Real Doll also “comes dressed in stylish seasonal lingerie with high heeled shoes. She will also come with a bottle of perfume and a cleaning kit.” Wow, they really thought of everything! Ok guys, I’m off to show my World of Warcraft guild my new girlfriend. They’re gonna be so jealous! Catch ya later 
Haha yes! So weird. What about this computerized sex robot?! Freakky http://sexytofu.com/2010/03/20/crazy-sexy-robot/
Roissy has brought these up several times in the past, and this sort of theme is common in anime, so I suppose I don’t find it that weird. Frankly, given the irrational behavior I’ve seen in a lot of women, I hardly find it surprising that men would want a silent, inanimate replacement.
The technology in this is pretty impressive though. The next generation versions will be even more so.
I have heard about these dolls before and my opinion remains the same… That’s creepy as fuck.
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Lmao I’m gonna purchase me one soon.Is there any plus-sized doll?
Wow. You know, I looked at that website years ago and it wasn’t nearly that comprehensive. I think the creepiest part is the fact that you can customize it to look exactly like somebody (custom freckles? custom hair?). I find it said that there isn’t one that captures the innate beauty of the plus sized woman, though. What’s a sad, lonely chubby chaser to do?
Leave it to the two dumb broads to find this “creepy”. You know what’s creepy? Expecting men to be attracted to “women” so fat and ugly they look pigs and have the personality of a bull dyke truck driver. Sure, it would be much better for these men to be in a loving relationship with a beautiful feminine girl but having one of these dolls sure as hell isn’t as creepy as being with a fat FemiSoviet pig. At least the dolls resemble women.
Oh, I’m sorry you found my thought that a -pretend person- is creepy. Hey, to each his own, if that’s what you need to make you feel complete then go on with your bad self… Just keep savin’ your money in that jar & I’m sure you’ll get her eventually.
When did I say I wanted a Real Doll you stupid slut? Why would I need one when there is no shortage of beautiful girls who are crazy about me? And they’re not ugly old worn out whores like you either. You’re such a miserable cunt two men couldn’t live with you. That’s how much of an awful, disgusting bitch you are. Those men were willing to get cleaned out by the divorce industry just to get the hell away from you. Yet with “women” like yourself whom men find absolutely repulsive inside and out, you can’t figure out how for some men a robo slut is a better alternative.
I’ve heard some MGTOWers extol the inevitable future of the sexbot or other some such thing. I ain’t seeing it. Not saying that relations between the sexes are at an all time high or anything, just that I think a tectonic-scale shift in social norms would have to happen before this sort of thing will mainstream. Perhaps Chalmers from Spacehunter is the template they should be shooting for?
Anyways, I’ll join the gals: creepy. Glad the units come with cleaning kits. Yuk.
if someone gave me one of these for free i would certainly fuck it. don’t any of you pretend you wouldn’t. i can’t guarantee i would finish though.
When they get to the point where these dolls are mechanical, I guarantee it’s over for the misandry you see today. It’s an older movie, but have any of you seen Cherry 2000? Dude got the chip for his robotic girlfriend but picked the real girl in the end. If that had happened in reality, the dude would have kept his robot over the real girl.
check out name link. these dolls are hilarious!
Thank you, BTB! At long last I have a shot at bringing to an end my chronic and soul-crushing loneliness.
The only thing creepy about this is the little 9year old doll sitting next to Pervy McBadTouch there in the front row.