GTFO
Here’s another entry into my “How to Get Rid of Solicitors” series. Today I met a girl flyering for some kind of anti-Planned Parenthood event. Church people love to think that Planned Parenthood is some kind of gigantic abortion meatgrinder, so I figured it was time for a quick shock & awe campaign. It went a little somethin’ like this:
Pro-Life Girl: ”Have you heard about the evils of Planned Parenthood? Blah blah blah blah…”
BTB!: ”Planned Parenthood? I love that place!”
Pro-Life Girl: ”WHAAAAA?!?!?!”
BTB!: ”Yeah, they give you a punch card. You get nine abortions and the tenth is free.”
The key here is delivery. I came up with this routine on the spot and was able to hold it together with a straight face (more or less). When I delivered the punchline, I waited just long enough to make her wonder if I was serious and then cracked a smirk. It worked great because she figured out two things – I have a sense of humor and I also don’t give a shit what she’s talking about. Feel free to give it a try* next time you run into somebody who wants to shove dead fetus pictures in your face.
Lmao why didn’t you try picking her up?
I could have turned that situation into a pickup, but my Official Company Policy is “No banging pro-life girls, because dealing with 18 years of kid/baby’s mama bullshit would really suck.”
Great post. There are far too many people out there who think they know what’s best for the rest of us.
It won’t let me click the “like” button more than once. Like like like! Hella funny
I usually troll them by telling them that Scott Roeder did more to stop abortion that pamphleteering and praying ever did.
Someone asked me in the street whether I had had an accident. (Do I look like I had an accident?) I said I had a car accident two years nine months before, losing my left leg. She looked down, I wiggled my toes and said, “but the prosthesis is really good”.
I wish there were anti-PP demonstrations around here, those could be fun. I guess I like banging nutty chicks every now and then, it makes for good stories.
Reminds me of the Always Sunny episode when Mac (I think? been a few years) gets involved with a rabid Pro-Life chick who is nuts, and Dennis is trying to get the pro-abortion chicks. All of them freaks haha.
The closest I’ve ever been to demonstrations like this were when come country folks from come hick church would show up on campus every now and then, run you down around the union, and pass out pro-life pamphlets while holding giant pictures of aborted fetuses. yuck. And they were not bangable
That’s one of the few Always Sunny episodes I’ve ever seen. That show is too painfully awkward to watch.
We used to get those same aborted-fetus poster people coming to CSU. They’d sit in the quad and scream shit at students through a megaphone. Same thing, wouldn’t fuck any of them. Wonder if it was the same group?